It has been over TWO YEARS since the last time I wrote something here.
So much has changed.
I am about to do the biggest show I have ever done in Denver on the 20th of this month, and it felt appropriate to finally write something given the momentous occasion. As many of you know, Spider Gang has been over for some time. It feels funny because the last time I was writing an entry for the website we were at our peak as a group.
Now we have all gone our separate ways for better or for worse. I keep up with many of the boys who tour with me and who remain friendly, and have drifted away from others which I won't get into for personal reasons. The fact is that life has been even more positive for me since then.
My solo career has been an incredible journey. I have toured the United states 4 times, Europe 3 times, Australia and New Zealand twice, done a number of festivals, and even done a show in Brazil! If you told the boys and I back in 2021 what we would go on to accomplish, we would have laughed in your face and finished ripping whatever bong we were perpetually holding.
2025 will be the first year that I have been completely sober since I was 17 years old. I am 27 now and I definitely view things differently than I did as a drug addled crazy person making internet music. I still think that all people are equal regardless of their race, and that the construct serves to do nothing but divide, but I am definitely more sensitive towards others than before. I understand that pissing people off and being insensitive is not necessarily the path to fixing the world, and that being more kind and understanding of others perspectives is a much better way to have an open dialogue with them AND possibly affect real change.
I don't regret any of my decisions or works of art. They are powerful statements in a world where many are too afraid to make them. I do, however, want to make new decisions and statements now that I am older! So that is what I'll do. There are many who still call me names, and bully the people that support me, but I have always and will continue to prove them wrong every day.
I have many plans for the future. I will be taking a break from touring in 2026 for a few reasons:
- I am physically tired. Between the strain on my voice, eating like shit because America insists on not being able to provide healthy food to its traveling citizens, and the injuries I have sustained on the road, I need a break to rehabilitate.
- I am emotionally tired. Being on the road takes a strain on the human psyche that people who have never done it cannot understand. I need moments to myself to spend time with family, read a book or two, create freely, and have fun.
- I want to curate better live experiences! My show has gotten to the point where I feel like it needs time to change. I want to experiment with intimate acoustic live shows, make music that can be more easily translated to a live setting, throw secret events, and maybe even host events like art exhibits and film screenings where music is only one aspect.
Some of my other plans for the future include making music under my real name, finishing some of the work I have started under the Lil Darkie persona, participating in group projects and bands, developing a more consistent exercise plan for next year, working on some pet projects such as a children's book, write fantasy stories, come on tour with my friends but NOT as the lead singer (I can help run the merch stand and take pictures HAHA), and maybe even become a DM for Dungeons and Dragons.
I want to thank the people who support me for making what I do possible. I think that it is more important now than ever before for people to go against the status quo. For people to grin in the face of danger and opposition. And to spread love in a world where negativity seeks to unhinge its grotesque jaw and consume everything it finds. In a world where evil poses as the light, be dark. And be proud.
Until the next time I write you all. Take care of yourselves. You are never alone. We have one another.
